


THERE IN YOUR HEART

by nosmokingpistol



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Heaven, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27864533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosmokingpistol/pseuds/nosmokingpistol
Summary: This is primarily Dean Winchester's Heavenly Journey as he figures out why he couldn't reply to Castiel's declaration of love, learns some surprising secrets about his brother Sam's sexual history, confronts and reconciles with his father, and  finally -- finally! -- is able to accept as well as return Castiel's love.It is 5 chapters, complete, and it made me cry from pure joy at the end. Maybe you oughta bring a tissue; I'm all out.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, John Winchester/Mary Winchester
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Love is all that I need  
> And I found it there in your heart  
> Isn't too hard to see  
> We're in Heaven" -- Bryan Adams
> 
> And thus we have our title!

It had seemed like minutes to Dean since he’d died in that damn barn and found himself in Heaven. A quarter hour, maybe, to get to the bridge? Even so, he held his brother tight as if it had been years, drinking in his scent, reveling in the feel of Sam’s warm breath on his neck. He could almost pretend his baby brother was still alive. Dean pulled back, and noted how young Sam looked. He also looked vaguely sad. They walked over to the side of the bridge and leaned against the rail. Dean threw his arm around Sam’s shoulder

“It wasn’t long for you, then, Sammy? I was hoping you’d have a good long life after I bought it.”

“I did, Dean. I moped around the bunker for a while –“

“As well you should have!”

Sam smiled. He’d missed Dean’s sass. God, how he’d missed it. “Yeah. I went on a few hunts, and then when I felt… well, _sane_ again I went to find Eileen. We got married a year or so later. Had a little boy!”

Dean beamed. “Aw, man. I’m so happy for you. I wish I could’ve been there.”

“In a way you were. We named him Dean.”

“Son of a bitch.” Dean’s throat was suddenly thick and he fought back tears. He slapped the railing and smiled crookedly. “We have a legacy!”

Sam got that slightly sad look again. “Once we had him, Eileen and I stopped hunting. We didn’t want him in the life, getting dragged around from place to place like you and I were. So we helped Donna Hanscum start a training school for hunters and ended up staying on as teachers.”

Sam gave a little laugh. “But Dean was stubborn like his Uncle, and once he got out of college he started hunting with the best of them. He stopped for a while when Eileen passed. It was just before our fortieth anniversary. Breast cancer.” He swallowed and looked away. The memory of losing Eileen still pained him.

Dean reached over and rubbed soft circles on Sam’s back. “I’m sorry, Sam. Truly I am. But forty years, man. That’s amazing.”

“He stopped again when I had my stroke. Took good care of me.” Sam smiled gently at his brother, tears moistening his eyes. “He held my hand, at the end, and told me it was okay to go. He learned that from his uncle. One of the stories I told him when he got older.”

That look of sadness returned. “He’s alone now, with me gone. He’s divorced. The Ex has the kids. She moved them to Hawaii to get them away from the hunting life. I kept hoping he’d find someone new. Have a life beyond hunting.” He wiped away a tear and cleared his throat. “I already miss him.”

Dean squeezed Sam’s shoulder. “He’ll be along. In Heaven’s time, he’ll be here.”

The brothers embraced again, and when they parted both were smiling. Dean reached into his pocket, took out his key ring and shook it merrily. “How about a beer?”

****** ****** ******

Sam luxuriated in riding shotgun in Baby once more as they drove back to Harvelle’s Roadhouse. By the time they got there Bobby had left to join his wife at home. They savored a few beers and enjoyed some home cooking as they caught up with Ellen and Jo. 

Ash, of course, being Ash made the newcomers a map of who was where and how to find them. He assured the brothers that with a little time their ability to sense the location of loved ones and friends would become flawless.

“Eileen will be expecting you, Sam” said Ellen as she began clearing dishes from the bar. “I met her when she first joined us. She’s lovely. I’m really happy for you. In fact – “ Ellen slapped Dean’s hand away as he reached for the pie plate. “—she’s in a beautiful log home a little ways up the mountain. See? Ash has it all marked. And if I’m not mistaken there’s a pickup outside waiting for you to drive it home.”

Grinning, Sam said his thanks to all and turned to leave. Almost immediately he turned back to face Dean. “You got a place to stay? Want to come to our house until you’re settled?”

Dean waved him off. “Nah, I’m good. Give Eileen a big hug for me.”

“Will do!”

Dean waited until the sound of big tires on gravel faded into the distance before he leaned forward and whispered to Ellen. “They got sex here? In Heaven? I mean is it like, legal? You know. So Sam and Eileen can…?”

Ellen gave him one of her patented _he’s an asshole but I love him_ looks and cackled. “What do you say, Jo? Is sex legal here?”

Dean smirked as Jo sashayed behind him and huskily whispered in his ear. “Only if it’s good!”

There was a time that whisper could have made him rock hard and eager but he felt nothing. He chalked it up to being tired, or maybe the shock of dying had affected him. He waved as Ash and Jo left together and questioned Ellen with a look and raised eyebrows.

“Yeah, they’re together. You missed your shot, Romeo.”

“Hey, you still got that room in the back? I’m beat.” He swiped his mouth across his arm and belched.

“Well some things never change!” Ellen laughed and wiped up the bar. “Room’s yours, Dean. Ash moved out a long time ago, he and Jo have their own place down by the river. Tomorrow you can dream up a house for yourself!”

He gave a short salute and made his way to the neatly kept bedroom. He stripped to his shorts and sat on the edge of the bed for a while. He was relieved to be in Heaven. He’d committed his share of sins and had always assumed he wasn’t worthy. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. He should be content. He should be happy. But there was a vague melancholy as well, and he couldn’t figure out why. He shrugged and snuggled himself down under the covers. Tomorrow was another day. He smiled just as he was drifting off. This was Heaven, after all. There would be an infinity of tomorrows. It’d come to him in due time.

****** ****** *******

The next day Dean awoke, refreshed, and as he luxuriated in a long hot shower he imagined clean clothes on the bed. Sure enough, after he’d dried off waiting for him were a change of clothes and a new pair of boots. They fit perfectly. As he dressed he thought of a breakfast of bacon, sausage and fried eggs, with toast swimming in butter. Exactly that was waiting for him on the bar, piping hot, with a mug of coffee and glass of orange juice. He took his time eating, trying to get used to the feeling of freedom. No agenda, no threats. No hunting. Just peaceful existence in a perfect Heaven.

He hoped he wouldn’t get bored, and vowed to dream up a house with premium cable, a pool, and every video game ever created. And a lawn to mow! He loved mowing lawns. He cleared off his dishes and put them in the sink but as he reached over to turn the water on they faded away. Grinning, he walked outside and breathed in the sweet pure mountain air.

“Mornin’ beautiful!” Dean called out to Baby as he approached. He started the car and felt a soft pull to the north, and saw a sparkle of light on the road heading towards Mary and John Winchester’s house. He threw his head back and laughed, and sang along with the radio all the way there. About fifteen miles out he felt another pull, stronger this time, and saw a sprawling ranch style house up on the right. As he pulled in the driveway he felt hot tears roll down his cheeks. There they were, waiting for him.

They ran to each other, each murmuring words of love and regret until finally Mary gestured to the small front porch. “Come on, Dean. Have a seat, have some lemonade and relax. We’ve been waiting for you. We’ve missed you both so much.”

“Damn right we have,” John agreed as he rubbed a hand across his beard. He cocked his head and leaned forward as he studied Dean. “Damn, son. Damn. Jack told your Mom it was that vamp, Jenny, from Luther’s nest.”

At Dean’s puzzled look, Mary interjected “When he and Castiel were renovating Heaven he stopped by to apologize for killing me.” She shook her head, smiling broadly. “Hoo boy. The things you never think you’ll say!”

Dean nodded and smiled sadly. “Yeah.” He shifted and poured himself more lemonade. “ She was there. It wasn’t her nest, but she seemed to be in charge of the vamps. Sam took her out. He had my back. Well, until a rebar got it!” He snorted at his own joke until he saw the pained look on his parents’ faces. “Hey! Hey, listen, it was fast, didn’t hurt much at all. And Sam, he was great, he was… He was _Sam_.”

Mary nodded knowingly, and John stared at the glass before him. “I should have handled that whole case better back then, Dean. Shoulda taken them all out first thing. I’m sorry.”

Dean reached out and put his hand over his father’s resting on the table. “Hey! Listen, I don’t want to hear any of that _sorry_ crap. Besides it was Sam who untied her, let her loose. He didn’t know she’d been turned. You and I, we’ve had our share of differences, a lot of bad water under the bridge.” Dean wrapped his fingers around John’s and squeezed until his father’s eyes met his own. “I forgave you when you came back that time, in the Bunker with me and Sam. When we all said things that needed to be said. If you can't remember I'll say it again. I forgive you, Dad. For _everything_.”

He saw John’s face dissolve into a mask of relief, pulled back, and picked through the plate of brownies that had suddenly appeared before him. “Besides, this is Heaven, man! I’m not spending eternity pissed off!” 

Mary cocked her head and smiled. “I think… Is Sam here?”

“Yeah!” Dean replied with a mouth full of brownie. “He wasn’t too long behind me. He had a good long life. Named his son after me!” He licked some chocolate crumbs off his fingers. “He’s with his wife, Eileen. Remember, Mom? You met her in Apocalypse World. One hell of a hunter. Not only that, she was smart, and brave, and a good match for Sammy in the sass department.” Dean smiled. “Yeah, he had a good life, and now they’re together again.”

A wave of loneliness ran through him. He’d have no one to share his Heavenly home with. Sure, it was possible to meet someone, fall in love, maybe even have kids if that was part of Jack’s plan for the place. He wiped at his eyes, aware that Mary and John were looking at him with concern.

Ah, what the hell. He couldn’t have what he’d wanted, what he’d denied himself. What he’d longed for. What he’d screwed up, in typical Dean Winchester fashion. Time to move on.

Dean wiped his hands along the top of his thighs and smiled. “Listen, I need to go dream up a house for myself! I passed a meadow about eight miles back, saw a nice big pond and a stand of pine trees. I’m thinking one of those big Colorado style houses, you know? All barn wood and windows and giant bath tubs!” As he got up, he placed his hand on Mary’s shoulder and bent to kiss her on the top of her head. She reached up and clasped his hand.

“You okay Dean?”

“Oh, yeah. Just need to get used to it. Not hunting any more, you know. I don’t really have a purpose here. Need to work on that. Maybe I‘ll take up knitting!”

John gave a look of disdain. “Oh come on, don’t even joke about a thing like that!”

Dean’s temper flared like a match lit on a boot heel. “You gonna go there, Dad? Now?”

“I just meant… I wasn’t trying to —“ Mary shot John a look of warning and he stopped.

“Tryin’ to what? Huh?” Dean growled through clenched teeth. Mary caught his eye and he threw up his hands in defeat. “Look… I’m sorry. Just a little on edge. Freshman fever.”

John shook his head in agreement. “It’s not easy the first little while. It’s so real. I kept forgetting I was dead – still do sometimes!”

“Yeah. Well, listen, I’m gonna get gone. Get a start on the house.”

Dean headed towards the driveway and for the first time noticed the silver Lamborghini parked down by the garage. He hooted and looked back at the porch. “Seriously?”

“It’s your mother’s!” shouted John through cupped hands, laughing as Mary gave him a smack on the arm.

Dean waved and as he pulled out of the driveway and headed toward the meadow he felt that ache again and he knew exactly where the sadness came from. He’d been faced with a pure and perfect declaration of love in the Bunker's interrogation room, and he hadn’t reciprocated. He’d let his fears deny it. Fear of admitting to feelings he’d been taught to disparage. Fear of being one of those people he’d mocked with his father as a teen. Fear of having his friends and family turn their backs on him. Fear that people could see it like a brand on his forehead **:** Dean’s one of _those_.

Instead he’d turned away from the person he had come to love with all his heart. He felt so ashamed. As he’d gotten older and more – what was it they said these days? Woke?-- he’d realized just how wrong the ongoing discrimination and persecution had been. He’d realized that love is love. He just couldn’t admit to himself that he, Dean Winchester, lover of women, subscriber to “Busty Asian Beauties” and self-professed studly Dudly, had opened his heart to a man. Or, to be more specific, a male-appearing cosmic-metaphysical-whatever being who bragged about being the size of the Chrysler Building. Now, didn’t _that_ put a wrench in the body works!

As he reached the meadow a long curving driveway appeared. He parked and walked over to the pond. Two deer were drinking there, and there was a symphony of birds in the pine trees. He fell to his knees, mentally exhausted and emotionally drained. He suddenly remembered Jack’s final words to him and Sam. He put his right hand over his heart and bowed his head.

“Jack… God? It’s me, Dean. Listen, I—I’m not sure if you can really hear me or if you’re off in the Universe somewhere. I just… Thank you for the Heaven you and Cas made. And thank you for bringing me here, and my family and all. It’s great. It’s really great, but I… I need you to tell Cas…”

Dean struggled to get the words out before he dissolved into tears. He spoke in barely a whisper. “I need you to tell him… Tell him that I love him. So much. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell him when he… when he said…”

He couldn’t hold back any longer. Wrenching sobs shook his body.

“I love him.” He rasped. “ I love him, and I need him to know that.” He looked around as if looking for a reply. “Jack? Please…” He knelt there by the pond until the tears had finally dried and the golden sun was setting in a rainbow of pink and orange. He heaved a deep sigh and resigned himself to sleeping in the car. He’d make his house tomorrow.

 _Wait!_ He thought _. It could only be mid- afternoon! And the sun is setting? Well, Bobby did say time was different here. Maybe in the Heaven you deserve, it gives you the speed of time you need._ Dean shrugged and scrubbed his hand over his chin _. Whatever it takes—I need some shuteye!_

He stood and by habit stretched to take the non-existent kink out of his back. No ache, no pain! He wished he could say the same about his heart. As if on cue there was a rustling in a patch of wildflowers behind him. As Dean turned his head he was tackled by a mass of golden fur with soulful eyes and a big wet tongue. “Miracle!” He thought his heart would burst. At the end of the driveway a house full of windows and barn wood appeared. Dean ran to the house, with Miracle close behind, and went inside. It was beautiful. Dean was too exhausted to explore and tinker. He had infinity to do that. He found a bedroom with a made-up bed, kicked off his boots and collapsed in a heap. As Miracle snuggled in to keep him warm, Dean’s last thought before he drifted off to sleep was of Cas.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tries to deal with loneliness, seeks advice from his brother, and discovers surprising new information about Sam's sexuality.

The sun woke him mid- morning. Great swaths of golden beams danced across the bed, choreographed by the sheer curtains blowing in the sweet valley breeze. Dean stretched and reached out a hand to massage Miracle’s soft ears. Something felt… Not wrong exactly, but not as he remembered. The dog had always had a rough scar on the inside of his left ear. Dean sat up with a start and peered at the now pristine ear. No scar! No bad breath either. Not even a morning fart. In fact, the dog seemed healthier and possibly a bit younger than Dean remembered.

“Well look at you!” Miracle licked his hand and yawned in reply before leaping off the bed and heading downstairs where Dean assumed he’d make a beeline for the doggy door he’d noticed last night. “Hey, I wonder—well son of a bitch!” He peered down the shirt he’d fallen asleep in, and then quickly tore it off. No scars! He reached around to feel his back and it was perfectly smooth where the rebar had torn through to pierce his lung and aorta. His anti-possession tattoo was also gone. He looked around, not sure who to address his complaint to. “Well you took your time perfecting me,” he called to the ceiling, “and thanks for that, but I want that tat back. I know I can’t get possessed up here but it’s been a part of me for a long time and I’m not ready to get rid of it!” It immediately reappeared.

He peeled off his jeans and shorts, and double checked that all was as it should be with his bottom half. “Shit! Aw, dammit!” he exclaimed, fit to be tied. He’d been manscaped! Not completely, but there had definitely been a good amount of tidying up. “And stop messing with my junk!” he added before padding off to the adjacent bathroom.

****** ****** *******

After a long hot soak in a supersize tub Dean explored one of the closets that lined the north wall of the bedroom. It was full of neatly arranged clothes and shoes. A spacious bureau held shorts, tees and socks. He grabbed some jeans and a Henley shirt and quickly dressed. He had a craving for a fried egg sandwich, and by the time he reached the kitchen the fridge was fully stocked with all of his favorites. He enjoyed frying up the eggs just the way he liked them – crispy on the bottom and runny on top – and brewed a pot of good strong coffee.

He searched through the cupboards until he found the dog food – Miracle’s favorite, of course – and while they both ate, Dean thumbed through the catalogue he’d found on the counter and picked out a barbecue, some porch furniture, and a pool table. He tossed it aside, poured himself another mug of coffee, and headed out to the front porch with Miracle at his heels.

“Nice!” Dean said to no one in particular as he approached the porch set he’d seen in the catalog not ten minutes before. He sat down and wiggled his ass in the cushion, as if to mark it as his own. He looked out over the front yard, and assuming the weather in Heaven stayed balmy and pleasant all the time he thought up a front yard full of Crape Myrtle, Dogwood and Magnolia.

Miracle raced down the porch steps and began barking excitedly, running back and forth between the trees. “Hey! Don’t you dare piss on my Magnolias!” Dean called after him. He was answered by a high pitched whine.

Dean suddenly felt the same wave of love and contentment he’d felt when Sam had first arrived in Heaven, and he quickly went into the house to retrieve the pot of coffee and another mug. By the time he came back out Sam’s pickup was parked in the driveway and Sam was having the happiest of reunions with Miracle.

Sam looked around and spread his arms, gesturing as he spoke. “An Aspen style house and a Raleigh style landscape.” He shook his head as he came up on the porch with Miracle at his heels. “You need to find an arborist up here, brother!” He took the proffered mug of coffee from Dean and hoisted it in a small salute. “Thanks!”

“Listen, this is my little piece of Heaven, right here, and I can grow sweet corn and pineapples in my yard if I want! No wait, I hate pineapples. Pomegranates!”

“Yeah, well, you hate pomegranates too, ass hat!” Sam retorted as he sat down in the chair next to Dean. Miracle inserted his head under Sam’s left arm and Sam dutifully stroked him while the brothers talked. “It’s really good to see him again. We lost him when Dean was four. Just went to sleep one night and didn’t wake up.” Sam suddenly threw back his head and laughed. “Dean used to use him as a pillow when he was little. All the time, he’d waddle over and just plunk himself down on Miracle’s back and fall sound asleep.”

Dean took a long sip of coffee and smiled as he watched Sam and the dog become reacquainted. He was glad to know Miracle had had a good life with Sam and his little family and yet it pained him that he’d missed so much. _Oh well_ , he thought. _I’ve got all the time in the world, now_.

“Listen, Sammy, you had Miracle for a lot longer than I did. If you and Eileen want to have him… I mean maybe he’d be happier…”

“Absolutely not!” Sam exclaimed. “After Miracle passed, we had a Border Collie named Edmund—“

Dean rolled his eyes, muttered ”Edmund… the hell?” and snorted before topping off his mug.

“Shut up!” Sam tried to look indignant but if truth be told he was not a fan of the name. Nevertheless, he put on his snippy face. “Edmund was the name of Eileen’s grandfather’s brother. She adored him. The dog, I mean. She didn’t… uh…” Dean couldn’t help but laugh, and Sam gave up trying to maintain his dignity. “Anyway, Edmund arrived here right after Eileen passed.”

Dean nodded and the two sat in silence for a moment.

“Miracle really pined for you, Dean. He grieved. It took him a long time to get back to his frisky self. He really loves you.“ As if in confirmation, Miracle made his way to Dean and lay down at his feet.

“Besides, you’re all alone here in this big house. It’ll give you some company.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’ll just rattle around in there by myself won’t I.” Dean sat back in his chair, obviously upset. He stood and walked over to the porch rail, leaned on it, and gazed out at the expanse of meadow. He wanted to blurt everything out to Sam, but what could he do? He’d only worry. Dean looked over at his brother. He already looked worried. _Fuck._ _Two days in Heaven and I’m already laying a problem at Sam’s feet._

“I’m sorry, Sammy.” Dean said as he turned around and leaned his back against the corner pillar. “I’m just missing some people. Still dealing with some shit, you know?” He felt tears forming and fought against them. “By the way, I haven’t said thank you, so… Thank you, man. For what you did for me in the barn.” Dean choked on the words.

Sam stood, looking puzzled, and walked over to his brother. He saw the unshed tears. He saw the jaw clenching and unclenching. Fists clenched. _Okay_ he thought. _This is bad. Very bad_. 

“Dean what happened to you in the barn was terrible. It was awful for you, and awful for me to watch it happen to you. But you’ve got to know…” Sam reached out and squeezed Dean’s shoulders with his gentle hands. “You’ve got to know that me being your brother—that hasn’t changed. That will never change, and I will be here with you forever. Whatever it is you need, whatever’s eating at you--we’ll take care of it. Together.”

Sam wrapped his arms around Dean, and Dean sank into them with a grateful sigh. “Sammy there’s something I need to tell you. For a long time now I’ve been—“

Sam suddenly broke away, and stood with his head cocked and his hand up, frowning, waiting for something. After a few seconds his expression changed and he smiled at his brother. “Dean – my son Dean—he’s here. He made it to Heaven!”

“That’s great, Sam. That’s just great. Listen, you get going now, you get going and go home and see your son.” Dean was genuinely happy for Sam and gave him a gentle push.

“Come with me, Dean! I really want him to meet you.”

“No no no, Sammy, not today. Today is for you, and Eileen. Listen, how about I come over tomorrow, meet my namesake? Then maybe you and I can take a little walk. Talk some things over. Okay?”

“Okay. Yeah, sure!” Sam was already down the steps and heading for his truck. He turned and waved. “Later, Dean!”

“Get going!” Dean stood there for a long while, thinking. He remembered standing with his brother in Wyoming, at the Devil’s Trap. _“I had to look out for you – that’s my job!”_ Dean had exclaimed when Sam got on his ass for making a resurrection pact with a crossroads demon. He’d done his job as best he could, with lots of mistakes along the way, and Sam had become a man Dean was so, so proud of. He didn’t need to look out for his baby brother any more. There were no monsters here, no tricksters, no demons. Sammy was safe. He would always be safe. Dean picked up the mugs and coffee pot and headed into the house. His job was done.

****** ****** ******

Dean spent the rest of the day roaming around his new house, thinking up little tweaks here and there. He added a richly paneled game room for the pool table, ping pong and foosball – with a bar in the corner of course. Across the hall was a home theater, a fridge stocked with sodas and ice cream, and a popcorn machine. He shot a few balls, worked on his combination shots, and grew bored. He thought about driving over to Harvelle’s to have a few drinks and kibitz with the old crowd, but he didn’t feel much like hearing a bunch of hunters tell their ‘how I died in battle’ stories, not this early in his Heaven. He was still getting adjusted to the memory of his own demise.

He tried to dream up a few ‘Busty Asian Beauties’ magazines, but each attempt yielded ‘House and Garden’. “Jack you freakin’ prude!” Dean muttered. He wandered across the hall, grabbed himself a bag of popcorn and settled in to watch ‘Star Wars’. He laughed when Wedge Antilles was mentioned. He still got a kick out of the name Sam liked to use when he’d go into deep cover, and how pissed he’s get when Dean would tease him and call him Wedgie, and then put his arms around Sam from the back and pull a Melvin.

He closed his eyes, his mind full of memories and his lap full of Miracle, and soon fell asleep. He dreamed of Cas standing before him, confessing his love. He dreamed of The Empty engulfing Cas and dragging him to a void older than God or time or the Universe itself. He dreamed of the beautiful smile on Cas’ face before he disappeared. In his dream Dean called after him, over and over, until long after Cas had melted into The Empty: “I love you too, Cas. I love you!” When he awoke his face was wet with tears.

****** ****** ******

Dean headed over to Sam’s house after a leisurely breakfast. He had Miracle in the car with him and hoped that he and Edmund would get along. He found the log home easily and was barely out of the car when Eileen came running out to greet him. Edmund followed and soon the two dogs were happily chasing butterflies.

He swept Eileen up into his arms and twirled her around a few times before setting her down so she could read his lips. “It’s so good to see you again. So good! Can you hear me? Or are you still…”

“I’m still deaf, Dean. It’s not a defect like a scar or a tumor, it’s just me!”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, okay. Well, ‘just you’, I want to thank you.”

“For what?” Eileen cocked her head, puzzled.

“For lovin’ my brother. For being a part of his life. He deserved the best and you were it!” They hugged again, and over her shoulder he saw a younger man watching them from the doorway. He pulled back to speak. “Is that my namesake?” Dean asked, pointing towards the house.

“That’s him! He can’t wait to meet you.” As they walked toward the house Sam’s son grinned and walked toward them, hand extended.

“You must be Uncle Dean. I’ve waited a long time to meet you.” He turned to Eileen and expertly signed, quietly saying the words for his uncle’s benefit. “Mom, Dad wants to know what kind of piano you want.”

Eileen rolled her eyes and faced Sam’s brother. “Sam’s been redecorating since he got here. He’s driving me crazy!” With that she disappeared into the house and the younger Dean burst into laughter.

“Was Dad always so fussy?” he asked his uncle. Dean threw his arm around his nephew and pointed to the chairs on the porch.

“Son, you have no idea! Have a seat.”

The two men sat there for a good while, chatting away and getting to know each other. Dean thought his heart would burst. Sam had raised a caring, loving son who thought the world of his parents and apparently had been a skilled hunter as well. He’d died at the hands of a Rugaru in backwater Louisiana at the age of fifty-seven. From the questions he asked it was obvious that Sam and Eileen had made every effort to keep Dean’s memory alive in their hearts and home.

The sun was high in the sky when Sam came out on the porch. Both Deans were laughing uproariously and when Sam asked what they were talking about they got downright hysterical. Sam raised his hands in surrender and looked as stern as he could under the circumstances. Truth be told he was delighted to see his two favorite men getting on like a house afire.

“Dean—go to your room!” Sam pointed at the doorway and in response both Deans looked back and forth, pointing at each other and themselves with a “who, me or him?” look. Sam lost it and all three men roared with laughter. The brothers shot each other a look. It felt so good to be laughing together again.

Sam’s son stood and headed for the door. On the way he stopped at his uncle’s chair and squeezed his shoulder. Dean looked up and put his hand over his nephew’s. Damn he loved his brother’s son already. “Pleasure to finally meet you Dean. And hey, don’t tell your dad what I told you about his misspent youth.”

“I wouldn’t dare! We’ll see you again soon?”

“Seriously? I’ll make a pest of myself!” Dean snorted as Sam gave his son a swat on the rear when he passed by, and looked up at his brother. “Ya done good, Sammy. You raised one hell of a kid.”

Sam nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he did us both proud. So—you wanted to talk about something?”

Dean stood up and headed for the porch steps. ”Let’s take a walk.”

****** ****** ******

Sam led Dean a half mile down the road and onto a well-worn path leading up hill. “Eileen took us here last night. It’s not too far… Here!” They rounded a bend and ended up on a small bluff above a crystal clear lake. The water lapped gently on the shore and the sound of birds filled the air. “In the dark, the sky was filled with stars, and we could see planets and even galaxies like they were close up!”

“It’s beautiful, Sam. Looks like a great place for a boat!” Dean tilted his head back and luxuriated in the feeling of sun on his face. “Hey! We don’t need sun block here, do we?”

Sam shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine.” He sat down at the edge of the bluff and dangled his long legs over the edge. Dean followed suit and sat in silence. “Dean? You wanted to talk about something?”

Dean looked at his brother, looked away, looked back. “When I told you about losing Cas… I didn’t tell you everything.” Sam waited expectantly for more but Dean remained silent and stared at his knees. Sam took the initiative and tried to continue the discussion.

“You told me Cas was taken by The Empty. Him and Billie. You said it was summoned because he’d made some kind of deal to get Jack back, like a trade or something. And Dean, I did a little research back then, and according to the lore the Empty can’t--”

“ _Sam!_ Just... Please.” Dean lifted his hands, spread his fingers and shot Sam a look. “There’s more to it. Before The Empty came, Cas told me the Shadow had made him promise that if he ever felt true happiness he’d be…” Dean needed a moment before he could continue.

“What? Dean, what?”

“He promised that if he ever felt true happiness, The Empty could come and get him and he’d spend the rest of eternity in there.” Dean spat out the words like sick bile, and turned his face away from Sam. When he spoke again his voice was softer; the words measured.

“And then he told me that his true happiness was that he loves me. He was smiling when he said it, this sweet, beautiful smile.” Dean took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “He said more but you get the gist of it. You shoulda seen him, Sammy. He was so damn brave.”

Sam could picture it and he felt a new pang of grief for Cas. “Yeah. Wow! I guess I could see it coming with you and Cas but I didn’t think he’d—“

“You _what_? What the hell do you mean you saw it coming?” Dean glared at Sam, stared at him, looking for any sign that he _knew_.

“Whoa, hey – I just mean that Cas was with us a long time and… Well, I saw the way your friendship developed into…” Sam tried to choose his words carefully. “Into more than a casual friendship.” He noted Dean’s deer-in-the-headlights expression and smiled. “Dean… if you feel the same way about Cas, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Dean stood up abruptly and paced behind his brother. “Shut up, Sam” he snapped. “You don’t know anything about this kind of crap.”

Sam laughed softly. “Of course I do. Hey, you remember St. Jerome’s school in Richmond? Frank Tedesco? I was thirteen; I had a _massive_ crush on him!”

Dean’s mouth fell open and he dropped back onto the bluff next to his brother. “Are you shittin’ me? Frankie four eyes? Whoa!” Dean gazed at his brother and saw the truth of his words. “I had no idea, Sammy.”

“There was a long time there when I thought I might be gay. But then Mary Alice Reinhold happened and she put that to rest!”

Dean hooted. “I’ll say –remember when her Mom found you both asleep in Mary Alice’s bed? And Mr. Reinhold chased you out with a shotgun?” He looked down and fiddled with a small patch of grass next to him. “Dad was proud though.”

Sam snorted. “Yeah. Look Dean, I know Dad always made a big thing about gays and alternate lifestyles and all that but—that didn’t mean it was wrong. It meant _he_ was wrong.” Sam put his arm around his brother and leaned in. “Hey, I had other crushes on guys, even dated one for a while in college before I met Jess. I accepted that I was bisexual a long time ago. If you are too – there’s nothing wrong with it. ”

Dean pulled back and glared at his brother. “You never told me _any_ of this, Sammy! _Ever_!”

Sam glared right back. “No. I didn’t. Because what would you have said to me?” Dean clenched his jaw, bit at his lip, looked away.

“Oh, believe me, I know what I would have said.” After a long moment he faced his brother again. “Okay but Sam, I’d hear Dad make fun of gays… I was a kid, you know? I just absorbed all that crap. I did what Dad expected – I always played the stud. And I was good at it!” His lip curled and he shook his head, disgusted with the memory. “Man, I was the perfect John Winchester clone.”

_You’re Daddy’s blunt instrument._

Dean felt his cheeks redden with shame. “You remember when you were getting ready to fight Michael in Stull Cemetery? And you had Lucifer in you?”

“I can remember some of it, yeah.”

“You know how Cas is. He made one of his helpful comments right before it all went down and of course as usual Dean had to be the Alpha Male. So I… I called him a junkless sissy.”

Sam stretched his legs and looked off into the horizon. ”That was bad.” He took a deep breath and returned his focus to Dean. “But that was a long time ago. You wouldn’t say that now, would you? I mean, not just to Cas, but to anyone?”

“Just myself, Sam.” He shook his head a few times before speaking again. “The thing is, I remember the look in his eyes when I said it. I remember thinkin’ that I hurt his feelings. And then all the shit went down and you were gone…“ Dean got to his feet and walked a few yards away. He stood gazing out at the blue sparkling water of the lake and it reminded him of Castiel’s eyes.

“I never apologized to him for that, Sammy! And then when he said what he said to me, I just stood there, and told him not to do it. Not to sacrifice himself. But I… I never told him how I felt!” He began pacing in place, hands on hips and face turned up as if to somehow reach wherever Cas was. Tears rolled down his face as the dam of emotion began to break.

“I let him go to a place worse than Hell…” Dean began to sob openly now and Sam got to his feet. “...without him ever knowing how I really feel because I was too fucking afraid to say it out loud! And now Dad’s pulling his same homophobic shit, and I swear if he says one more word I’ll… I…”

Sam crossed the space between them in a heartbeat and held his brother close, murmuring quiet words of love and support as wracking sobs shook Dean’s body. When at last they subsided Dean swiped his hands across his eyes, now swollen and red. Sam peered at him for a moment before letting go and stepping back. “Dean—I know Jack told us people didn’t need to pray to him, but have you tried just talking to him?”

“Yeah. I asked him to tell Cas how I felt. Don’t know if he heard me though. I know Jack had Cas help him rebuild Heaven but I don’t know where he is now.” Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and slowly rocked on his feet. “Who the hell am I kiddin’ Sammy? Even if he is an angel in Heaven, he told us his real form was the size of the Chrysler building. Remember?”

“Yeah!” Sam thought for a moment. “I guess since Jimmy Novak’s dead, he’d be here in Heaven and Cas wouldn’t have that vessel to use any more, at least not here. He still looked like Jimmy on Earth though. I never got that.”

“Well, I don’t get any of that metaphysical crap, so… Let’s get out of here!”

They had only stepped a few yards ahead on the path back to the road when Dean felt a wave run through him like an earthquake. It seemed to come from all directions and it carried a whisper: _I heard you, Dean._ He stumbled but quickly regained his balance when Sam grabbed him by the arm.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, fine. I must’ve stumbled on a rock or something.” _A rock with Jack’s voice_ he thought to himself.

When they reached Sam’s house Dean called Miracle over to the car and let him in. Sam urged him to stay for lunch, but Dean was in no mood to socialize. He begged off and headed home. He spent hours working off some tension by digging a new garden around the porch, all the while debating with himself whether or not he’d really heard Jack speaking to him.

When he was done he showered, put on some clean clothes, and grabbed a beer before heading out the door. The sun sat low, and he stood on the porch and downed half the bottle while marveling at the rainbow of colors reflected in the clouds. It was like nothing he’d ever seen. He smiled and raised the bottle in salute. “Way to go, Cas.” he said softly. Before he could bring the bottle to his mouth Miracle began to whine behind him. Dean recognized the rush of wings, and heard a deep familiar voice.

“Hello, Dean”.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is happy to find that Cas is working on a plan to be with him. It's just that the logistics are a little complicated! Sort of.

Dean felt weak in the knees as a halo of light surrounded him. It felt vaguely like the time he was five, and stuck his finger in a Christmas light socket – thrilling and painful at the same time. He put his beer down and balanced with his palms on the porch table for a moment before drawing himself back up to his full height and slowly turning around. He heard Miracle yelp and then a thud from behind Cas.

“M… Mira… M…” Dean’s whole body was trembling from the waves of static rippling through him and as a result his throat was contracting in rhythmic spasms. He raised his right arm and shielded his eyes. Before him hovered a brilliant ball of light, with the vague outline of wings behind it. They were every color of the rainbow, and he immediately realized that they were what he had seen dancing among the clouds. Miracle had collapsed in a heap on the other side of the porch. It was hard to tell if he was breathing.

“He’s okay, Dean.” Cas said gently. “He's asleep, dreaming of bunnies and chew toys.”

Suddenly the light dimmed, and the sensation he had felt in his body eased into a minor vibration along his spine. The Seraph before him wrapped his wings around the remaining ball of light. There was no discernible human vessel but the voice was unmistakably that of Cas. Dean took a step forward and was suddenly stopped as if hitting a wall.

“Don’t come any nearer, Dean. I have no vessel. This is just an illusion to spare you from losing your senses at the sight and sound of my true form. If I touched you the perceived human embodied with your soul would be cast as sub-atomic particles throughout the Universe.”

“I’d what now?” Dean was more than confused.

“You’d explode, your soul would be destroyed, and you’d be cast out of Heaven for all eternity. Sort of.”

Dean scrubbed a hand along his chin and snorted. “Yeah, well, I guess you and Jack still got some work to do, huh?” His tone softened and became more serious. “It’s beautiful here, Cas. I mean it, man, it… it’s more than I ever deserved.” He felt a wave of warmth and love wash over him.

“It’s _everything_ you deserve, Dean. But you’re right, there’s still much to be done. We’re working on the infant’s wing now. So many pure souls waiting to be reborn. We’re only up to the plague of 541CE!”

Dean chuckled in response to Cas’ frustration. The angel is spending eternity working miracles and still doesn’t think he’s doing enough. “I can’t think of a better man for the job! Er… entity… Seraph. You know what I mean.”

“I do. I also know what’s in your heart, Dean. Jack looked into your soul again that night you knelt at the pond, and found you worthy. As they used to say ‘a good and faithful servant’ -- with pure love for me, not just lechery or covetousness. And he saw the same for you, in me. That’s why he’s going to reward us. You wouldn’t know by looking at him, but he’s a real romantic.” As Cas spoke, Dean swore he could hear soft music amongst the trees. 

“Reward? Holy crap, Cas, I’m in Heaven! How much more reward do I deserve?” Cas laughed at that. Jack had said he’d be hands-off, and let people live their lives. He never said anything about helping worthy souls after death.

“Jack was a Nephilim, the product of an angel and a human. As far as his mother was concerned, he was conceived in love, but we all know the trouble his father caused. He understands the difficulties involved with interspecies relationships and he wants to help us!”

“So, what's he gonna do? Is he makin’ you human?” A sudden thought struck Dean and he almost squealed with delight. “Am I gonna be an angel?” Cas’ laughter at the idea quickly wiped the smile off his face.

“No, Dean. Jack understands the desire for two people who love each other to want to express that love through intimate physical contact.” Dean was slightly pissed to find himself blushing. “He certainly doesn’t want your soul exploding across the Universe. And yet, I must remain a Seraph. I _want_ to remain a Seraph.”

“But Jimmy Novak is here too, right? His soul at least. So you can’t really borrow his vessel any more if you’re in the same plane of existence, right?” Cas remained silent. He knew enough to let Dean sputter for a while when he needed to. “C’mon, man, help me out here. I’m not too good with all this metaphysical crap!”

“Jimmy Novak was destined by Chuck to be my perfect vessel – as you were for Michael. Once I was taken into The Empty my vessel began to degrade, and my angelic form became my dominant presentation. Jimmy’s Heavenly body, and yours, and Sam’s – everyone here --are three dimensional representations formed by the coalescence of micro matter produced by the Celestial—“

“ _Cas!_ C’mon, man, dumb it down a little!”

“Basically he’s going to create a new sub-Celestial form for me. But it may take a little while. When Jack returns from reconstituting all of the parallel Universes that Chuck destroyed, we have to have an executive meeting -- Jack wants to redesign Hell.”

Dean couldn’t begin to imagine the amount of power Jack now held. Thankfully he was a kind and benevolent God. Credit to Sam and Cas for that. They’d raised him right. “So what does that mean for us, Cas?”

“I’ll have a human presentation here in Heaven, and revert to my angelic form when I’m in the supra-Celestial plane. I just won’t be dependent on a vessel. For all intents and purposes I will look exactly the same as you remember. Unless—would you rather I take another form? A blonde, perhaps? Taller? Maybe you’d rather I was female?”

“No!” Dean was still trying to comprehend what redesigning Hell could entail. “No, I wouldn’t want you to change a thing.” He suddenly felt a bit shy. He hadn’t felt shy since he asked Tracy Madison to the movies in sixth grade. “I like you just as you are… were… You know what I mean.”

“Okay. Good. Jack thinks it’s a win-win situation! When I appear to a group of faithful to announce a glad tiding, my true visage makes them insane. Jack wants to redesign all of the angel squads eventually, and make us much more compact!” Cas began to glow a little brighter.

“I need to leave now. I’ll see you again, Dean. In the meantime just remember – the purpose of the Heaven we’ve given you is to bathe in love and be at peace. You need to keep working on that.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I will.” Dean smiled at the ball of energy levitating away from him. “And Cas?” The light became more intense and the wings unfurled a little bit more as the angel floated higher and higher.

“Yes Dean?” Cas answered.

“I should have said it before, in the bunker, when you told me how you felt. I’m sorry I didn’t. I was afraid to admit it, even to myself. But I’m not afraid any more.” He raised his arms and spread them as if addressing the Universe. “I love you, Castiel!” he shouted, not caring who else heard. “Do you hear me? I love you! With everything I’ve got!” Dean was beaming and his eyes glistened. He felt happier than he’d felt in years. Miracle awakened and pawed at his foot. Dean squatted down and hugged him tight as he watched the angel leave.

Cas sped away in a burst of light, and flew high across the infinitely dark sky. An enormous glittering rainbow appeared behind him before he disappeared into the Celestial ether. He had heard-- and his happiness was written in the stars.

****** ****** ******

Dean had a long, deep, and dreamless sleep, not stirring until the cell phone on the bedside table started playing ‘Ashes to Ashes’. _That’s funny_ , he thought, _I never made Bowie my— What the fuck?_ He sat up and grabbed at the phone, rolling Miracle off of his legs and onto the bed. He peered closely at it. Seemed standard issue. No brand insignia, but the name Sam was blinking on the screen above the red and green arrows. He swiped the green one and held the phone to his ear.

“Sammy?”

“Yeah, Dean, it’s me!”

“What is this? Did you send this phone over here? Or wish it into existence or somethin’?”

“I did! Eileen’s been teaching me all the ins and outs of this place, and we can have phones! It’s all part of a private network. You just decide who you want on yours, and they just… show up in your contacts. Now that you have one you can add anyone you want – Mom and Dad, or Bobby, or—“

“Sammy?” Dean interrupted.

“Yeah?”

“That’s how smart phones work, man. It’s how they’ve _always_ worked. “

“Well, yeah, but… Yeah. I guess so.” Sam thought for a moment. “But these don’t die when you drop them in the toilet!”

Dean laughed to himself. Some things never change, and Sam’s enthusiasm for all things gadget would follow him into eternity. “That’s… that’s good to know. Anything else before I hang up and find some normal people to talk to?”

“Very funny. Nah, I was just wondering if you wanted to come over for brunch. Eileen and Dean are spending the day with Mom and Dad, because he’s now their favorite person ever born and Eileen has Queen status over there.”

“As well she should, Sammy. And hey – Dean’s their only grandchild. That’s downright gold, man.” He reached over and scratched Miracle’s belly. “Brunch sounds good! Just remember we’re in Heaven now. There’s no such thing as cholesterol here. I want sausage _and_ bacon!”

****** ****** *******

Just as before, Miracle ran off to chase butterflies with Edmund as soon as Dean let him out of the Impala. Dean walked in the door just as Sam was pouring two glasses of orange juice. He handed one to Dean, who took a large gulp. “Fresh squeezed?” Sam nodded and Dean drank some more. “Oh, man. This is the life, right Sammy?”

“It’s amazing! The food tastes so fresh, and clean. No preservatives I guess. I’m surprised we can still get meat. I mean, I figured Jack would have put the kibosh on that what with how cruel it is to the animals and—“

Dean grabbed Sam by the arm and looked around furtively. “Shut it, Sam! Don’t give him any ideas!”

Sam frowned before pulling his arm away and reaching for the bag of coffee beans on the counter. “Yeah, but it doesn’t make sense if… Dean?”

His brother was already in the other room, peering at the laptop on the dining room table. The website on the screen was a religious site out of Front Royal, Virginia named ‘Angels Among Us’ and it was open to the Seraphim information page. “Sam? What… what have you been doing? Why are you reading up on angels? Wait—Are you tellin’ me we have the internet up here too?”

Sam came walking in with a platter full of scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage and a tray with a plate of toast and small bowls full of butter, various jams, and a jar of Marmite. They sat at the places Sam had set, and Dean reached out to the tray and grabbed the jar. “What the hell is Marmite?” He unscrewed the cap and sniffed. He screwed up his face, immediately recapped the jar, and slammed it back on the tray. “Ugh! Holy crap, Sam!” He dragged the platter over and started loading his plate.

Sam smile ruefully. “Ah. Sorry about that. Force of habit – my Dean is crazy about the stuff.”

“ _Your_ Dean?”

Sam squirmed a little. “My _othe_ r Dean.”

His brother snorted, and bit off half a pork sausage. “That’s better. Now what about that laptop--”

“Coffee’s ready!” Sam leapt to his feet and disappeared into the kitchen. He soon returned with two mugs, the pot of coffee and a ceramic trivet. He put the ceramic square down on the table and turned it until it faced Dean. He pointed at it proudly. “My boy made that when he was in kindergarten. Gave it to me for my birthday.”

Dean picked up the trivet and ran his fingers over the tiny hand prints and the misspelled ‘DADY’ and smiled up at his brother. “You have no idea, Sam, _no idea_ how happy I am for you. For the life you got to live, for your family.” He shook his head and placed the trivet back on the dining table. “I couldn’t have asked for more.”

Sam placed a mug of coffee before Dean, poured one for himself, and set the pot down on the trivet. “It was a good life. There wasn’t a day went by I didn’t wish you were there, but all in all we were content.” Sam blew over the steaming liquid and took a careful sip before digging into his eggs.

Dean swallowed another mouthful of sausage and shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth. He swooned at the sweet, smoky flavor. “Damn this is good!”

“Eileen loves it too. Virginia smoked!”

Dean looked up and pointed at the laptop next to his brother. “Yeah, about Virginia. First of all, are you seriously tellin’ me we have the internet here? And second, what the hell are you doin’ reading up on angels? _And don’t tell me you were researching the lore!”_

“I’m not! I just wanted to help, maybe find some information about Celestial romance, that kind of thing!”

“And?” Dean contentedly pushed his plate aside and reached for his coffee. It smelled glorious, like one of those fancy-ass South American private labels. He shrugged. _When in Heaven…_

“And, I didn’t find anything. But –“ Sam set his plate on the buffet behind him and slid the laptop closer. “I did find some information on the special properties of Seraphim compared to the lesser angels. Apparently in Biblical times they frequently mingled among the humans.” He typed furiously and read for a moment. “Oh, and get this! It says here—“

“Sam—“

“—that they are technically ‘without the ornaments of man’—“

“Sam, listen—“

“I think that means they don’t have penises. Unless—“

“ _Sammy!”_

Dean didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the expression on his brother’s face. He quickly decided some gentle laughter was the best choice. “Look, man, I appreciate what you’re doin’ here, I do! But Cas stopped by last night, and we talked, and Jack’s helping him—helping us—with the whole finding a body thing. So we’re good.”

Sam stared at his brother for a moment. “Did you tell Cas how you feel?”

“I did, yeah, I did.” Dean smiled in a way Sam hadn’t seen in years. “It felt good, Sammy.”

“But… But how did that work, I mean how did he appear? How could you communicate? Was he a ball of fire, or… or as big as a skyscraper, or…?”

Dean looked Sam in the eye, and spoke with pride. “He was The Angel Castiel. And he loves me. Me, Sam! I just… I’m happy. That’s all I can say.”

Sam relaxed back in his chair. “I’m happy _for_ you.” The two brothers sat in silence for a minute, sipping their coffee and smiling at nothing in particular. Sam reached out to pour himself some more, and gestured toward Dean.

“Yeah, thanks. So we have internet here?”

Sam topped off the two mugs and took a swig. “We do! It’s pretty much the same stuff we got before, except there’s no porn. Jack won’t allow it.”

“Dammit! I had no idea he was such a prude!” 

“He’s not a prude, Dean. This is Heaven, he’s not going to condone the objectification of either sex, or sex without consent, or the abuse of farm animals—“

“All right! Enough!” Dean had to agree, it made sense. He drained his mug and stood. “Thanks for the grub! And thanks for trying to help us out. I’m dreading telling Dad about us. Cas and me.”

“Any time, you know that. Listen, you want to go canoeing, or play some foosball?”

“Nah. I’m good. I want to get home, do a little re-arranging. Gonna have another person in the house, need to get ready!” The brothers headed for the door and as if on cue Miracle ran over to the Impala and sat, waiting patiently.

Sam impulsively reached out and wrapped his arms around his brother. Dean reciprocated and Sam pulled him close. “I love you, Dean.”

“Love you too, Sammy.”

Sam pulled back slightly, kissed his brother on the forehead and then finger combed the wayward hair off his big brother’s face. _It’s the father in him_ Dean thought, not unkindly.

“Dean, I know what it was like to be loved unconditionally. By you, yes, but then I found Eileen. I had her in my life longer than I had you! And she never wavered; she always loved me, and cared for me, even when I acted like an asshole! She nourished my soul, and she respected me, and she accepted me for exactly who and what I was.”

Dean’s heart, if he still really had one, swelled. He knew that Eileen’s love had surely been reciprocated. His brother’s capacity for love was unending.

“You have that pure kind of love now, Dean. You’ll have that forever, if you want. And I just want you to know how proud I am of you for finally being open to it.”

“Thanks, brother” Dean whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He gave Sam one last squeeze and headed for the car. Miracle ran in tight circles until he opened the back door for him. As Dean headed down the road he couldn’t help grinning from ear to ear. Cas had wanted him to bathe in love and feel at peace. Well, if this time with Sam didn’t fit the bill, he didn’t know what did. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long overdue showdown with his father clears the air, and removes the last barrier to Dean's ability to be open about his love for Castiel.

A day went by, then two, then three. Dean entertained himself by adding a large outdoor kitchen and seating area at the back of the house. There was also a beautiful pool with a rock garden and waterfall at one end, similar to one he’d seen when he and Sam had taken a couple days and lived it up in Vegas. He added balconies to the upper floors of the house that overlooked the pool, and installed gardens at each end of the field stone patio.

Dean was looking forward to the time when he and Cas would host cook outs and pool parties. That sort of life had always seemed impossible to him, a suburban dream that other people got to have. The closest he’d gotten was during the time he’d spent with Lisa and Ben. Now, in death, it would become a reality. He swam for a while in the afternoon sun, and then plopped himself down in a lounge chair where he was quickly joined by Miracle. He hugged the dog tightly and looked him straight in the eye. “Heaven is a strange and wonderful place, isn’t it buddy?” As if in answer Miracle licked his face before settling down for a nap. Dean soon followed suit and the two dozed until the sound of barred owls in the surrounding trees woke them.

It was twilight, and after both Miracle and his human had had a good pee Dean decided to head over to Harvelle’s for dinner and some company. Miracle ate a tasty bowl of beefy nuggets and meandered to his favorite spot by the back door, and Dean dressed and left out the front. By the time he was halfway to the roadhouse the stars were out and he could clearly see details on the surfaces of Mars and Venus. He shook his head with wonder. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to such a sight!

He sat at the bar and grinned when Jo came over to take his order. “What’ll it be, Dean? We’ve got a special on pot roast tonight.”

“Your Mom’s recipe? With the little baby onions and the tiny taters?” Dean was already salivating.

“There’s none finer!”

“Bring it on! And I’ll have a bourbon, neat. Double.” He was still getting used to the fact that alcohol had very little effect here. You get warm and toasty, sure, and it still relaxed your inhibitions, but you could drink a barrel and not get truly wasted.

Ellen brought his drink over and put it down in front of him. “So, you getting settled in, Dean? I passed by your place the other day. Not too shabby!”

Dean downed a hefty slug of the bourbon and chuckled. “Yeah, I’m plannin’ on a lot of barbecues, so keep your calendar open!” He downed the rest of his drink and slammed down the glass. “Again!”

Ellen took it and refilled it from one of the bottles behind her. “Take it easy, boy, this may be Heaven but you can still drink enough to spew up here.”

Dean was trying to fathom the purpose of Celestial puke when the door opened and a moment later John Winchester’s voice called across the room. “Hey, Dean! Come join us!” Dean hoisted himself off the bar stool and carried his drink over to their table. John caught Jo’s eye, pointed to Dean’s glass and then to himself before sitting down.

Dean sat down beside Mary and smiled, happy for the company. “So what have you two been up to?”

“We’re learning to play Pinochle. Bobby and Karen are teaching us.” Jo brought John’s drink over and Mary raised a hand. “Could I have a beer, please? Lager, draft.” She turned back to Dean. “Oh, and we found out your Grandpa Campbell has formed an accordion band!”

“Are you shittin’ me?” Dean whooped, and slapped the table. “That… That is something I hope I never see. Or hear!” Jo returned with Mary’s beer, and a heaping plate of pot roast. Dean practically swooned at the sight of it. “Thanks. And you thank your sweet Mama for me too!”

“Will do!” Jo replied. She looked over at John, guarded in his presence. She still hadn’t completely forgiven him for his role in her father’s death, no matter how well intentioned. “Hey, John, you know Dad’s here. He’s just _dyin’_ to see you.”

“Give Bill my best,” John said as he raised his glass in salute. “And I’ll take some of that pot roast. How about you, Mary?”

“I’d like a Grunge Burger, please. Extra onions, no fries.”

“No fries?” Dean looked up, mouth full of tiny taters. “Are we even related?”

****** ****** ******

As they enjoyed their dinner, Dean filled them in on his house design and his time over at Sam’s place meeting his namesake. John and Mary had been thrilled to find out they were grandparents and only wished there were more.

“I always hoped you’d find a good woman like your Mom, here.” John smiled and put his hand on top of Mary’s resting on the table. “Have a few rug rats for me to spoil.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Dean snapped. “With the life you had us live?”

“What are you--?” John was truly perplexed.

“You had us brainwashed into thinking we couldn’t have any other life than hunting. _Sammy couldn’t even settle down ‘til I was dead and gone!”_ The roadhouse had suddenly gone silent. Dean looked around, slightly embarrassed at having drawn the attention of others.

“Look… this is a discussion for another time,” Mary said, looking from man to man. “We’ve all got some issues to work out up here, just… just knock it off for once, okay?” She understood both men’s viewpoints, and to an extent sympathized with them. She also knew that their Heavens would be much happier when their conflicts were resolved. She knew hers would be. She forced a smile and turned to Dean.

“Have you heard anything from Castiel up here?” She turned to John as an aside “He’s the angel I told you about.”

“I remember; you said he was from one of the warrior garrisons.” John murmured as he downed the last of his bourbon.

Dean steeled himself. It was now or never. “Yeah, actually I have, Mom. He stopped over the other night. That’s why I’ve been working on the house.” He purposefully turned his focus to his father. “He’s movin’ in.”

Mary was puzzled. “But this is Heaven! It’s his home base, right? He can be in his true form! Why would he want to move into a regular house?”

Dean leaned forward, elbows on the table, still focused on John. When he spoke again it wasn’t an answer – it was a challenge. “Castiel loves me. He gave his life to save mine, because _he_ loves _me_. And he’s moving into my house because _I love him_.” Dean noted John’s expression and cocked his head. “You got a problem with that, Dad?”

John was admittedly shocked, and he was sure he must have mistaken the meaning of Dean’s words. “I got no problem with it. Nothing wrong with two good friends sharin’ a space. That’s all this is about, right Dean?”

“No. No way, man, this is about a lot more than that. This is about someone who’s braver than I’ll ever be. Who led armies to defend his God, and his Heaven, to defend _the whole fucking Universe_.” Dean stood and slammed his fist on the table. Mary flinched, but John was still, his gaze steady on Dean, his face unreadable. Dean cursed inwardly as he felt tears forming. _Not now dammit. Let me be strong for this._

Dean and John seethed at each other, as Mary glared at each one in turn. She was trying to come up with some calming words when Ellen walked toward their table. “All right, boys, take it outside.” She started clearing dishes and the two men slowly moved toward the door, with John leading the way.

The moment they were outside and a short way from the roadhouse, John whirled on his son and got in his face, livid. “You want to tell me what that shit show was all about, boy?” Spittle flew as he shouted and Dean wiped his sleeve across his chin with a look of disgust.

“It was about me finally waking up, Dad! It was about me realizing that there was someone out there who loved me and it didn’t matter if they were a man or a woman, it was someone I admired, and respected, and was lucky to have in my life!” Dean spoke with a passion John had never heard from his son.

“That’s just fine, Dean, but you’re acting like you’re—“

“Like what, Dad? Like I’m in love with him? _Well I am!_ And don’t you _dare_ look down on me for that! Or Cas!” Dean could feel the tears rolling down his face. He didn’t care. In for a penny, in for a pound.

“This is the first time I can honestly say that I’m happy. Castiel doesn’t just love me, he _treasures_ me. D’you have any idea how long I’ve waited to be loved like that? How long I’ve waited to love someone else like that?” Dean suddenly felt exhausted. He paced in a circle, searching for the right words.

“When Cas told me he loved me… when he was about to die, for _me_ —I couldn’t say it back. I was ashamed. And I kept telling myself that was down to you, and how you raised me. All those faggot jokes on the road. But I was just foolin’ myself. I ain’t no kid anymore; it was all on me.”

John approached, his face stricken with remorse, and reached out to Dean. “What… What the hell did I do to you, that you would turn away from love?” He began to break down in tears and Dean sank into his arms, sobbing openly. “I’m sorry, Dean. I’m sorry.”

The two men stood for quite a while, locked in their embrace while they whispered apologies and absolution to each other. Above them, although neither of them saw it, a rainbow arced across the surface of Mars.

****** ****** ******

Dean stood by the porch, studying the gardens he’d dug the day Cas had visited. He’d just taken a pitchfork and turned up the soil, and called up some sweet smelling Honeysuckle and two Hydrangea bushes. He was bent over his spade, digging the first hole, when he heard John’s car pulling in the driveway.

His father opened the trunk and pulled out a spade of his own, and a flat of Lavender. Dean wandered over, closely followed by Miracle, and noticed a second flat, this one full of Primrose, still in the trunk.

“What’s all this?” Dean asked as he hefted the tray full of multi-colored plants. John slammed the trunk shut, and the two headed toward the porch.

“I was headin’ back from Sam’s house and saw you out here, so I called your Mom and asked her what would look good by your porch.” He set his flat down on the ground and gestured with his spade. “If you don’t like the colors, blame her!”

“No, they’re great! They’ll look good with the bushes I got.” He smiled at his father. “Thanks for stoppin’. I could use the help!”

John blushed a little as he ventured into slightly foreign familial territory. “Yeah, well… I know you’re expecting Castiel to land here one of these days. Thought you could use a little help gettin’ the place ready for him.”

A new lightness and peace seemed to settle into Dean. “You know, we could just wish they’d all insta-plant themselves.” He smirked, and cocked an eyebrow.

“Nah.” John smirked right back as he shrugged out of his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves. He felt like his heart would burst with love for his son. “Now stop acting like a smartass and let’s get planting!”

****** ****** ******

Three hours later the planting was done and the gardens were mulched. Both men were slick with sweat – Dean held the strong opinion that sweat, snot and poop should be disallowed in the Heavenly domain, and opined as such – so they got themselves some trunks and dove into the pool to cool off.

They had been sitting on the porch, admiring their handy work and having a cool drink, when John’s phone rang. After a brief conversation John closed off and polished off the last mouthful of beer.

“Another one?” Dean asked.

“Nope,” John replied as he stood up and stretched. “That was your mother, reminding me we have a Pinochle date over at Bobby’s.”

Dean stood as well, and followed John down the steps and over to the car. “Listen, you give my best to the Singers, and kiss Mom for me.” The two reached out for each other simultaneously, and hugged each other tight. “Thanks, Dad.” Dean said as they broke apart. “For the garden, but also for understanding.”

John reached out and cupped his eldest son’s cheek, then gave it a feather-light brush. “I’m tryin’ son. Anything for one of my boys.”

****** ****** ******

Dean tried out the grill with a two inch Porterhouse -- salted, peppered, and a perfect medium rare. He’d thrown a handful of new potatoes in with it and called up some butter and sour cream. Miracle joined him at the patio table, and was the beneficiary of a nice selection of steak bits for dinner. As night fell, Miracle lay down at his side as Dean watched the stars and listened to the Killdeer sing.

He leaned back in his chair, content, and raised his hand to his heart. “Jack? It’s me, Dean, again. Just wanted to thank you, man, for this Heaven you created and all that you’ve given us. It ain’t always perfect but… I think it’s what we _need_. I’m so proud of you, and Cas, and what you’ve done here.” Dean paused, checking himself. No. He was done. “That’s it, I guess. Good night.” A flash caught his eye, and a violet and green Aurora appeared above and danced across the sky. He lay back and watched it until it receded. Later, as he and Miracle snuggled into bed, he thought he heard Jack’s voice: “ _Tomorrow_.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel finally find domestic bliss. One could even call it eternal love! And there our story ends.

Dean awoke to a bright sunny day and a craving for Golden Grahams. He ate two bowls full while Miracle had his kibble, and then went back upstairs for a long, hot shower. He stood at the foot of his bed while he towel-dried his hair, changing it from Double to King. He added a carved oak headboard and changed the other furniture in the room to match. Hardwood floor, a Persian rug, and another full sized closet followed. He changed the vanity in the bathroom to a double, and increased the size of the walk in shower. He smirked a little and added a rain shower head and two side jets.

He brushed his teeth, flossed, brushed again, shaved, and changed his clothes three times before the need for coffee lured him down stairs. He sat on a stool at the counter, mug in hand, and called his brother. Hung up. Called again. This time the phone was answered immediately.

“That you, Dean? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m good Sammy.” Dean took another sip of coffee, set down the mug and rubbed his eyes. “Can you talk? Privately I mean?”

“Eileen and Dean aren’t here; they’re out taking Edmund for a walk.”

“Good. That’s… nice for Edmund.” Dean rolled his eyes at himself. “Look, I need a little advice.”

“About…?” Sam was beginning to worry about his brother. “Dean?” No answer. “ _Dean?_ Are you sure you’re okay? D’you need me to come over?“

“ _No!”_ Dean exclaimed, pretending he wasn’t beginning to panic. “No, I just have a few questions, is all. About *sex*.” He whispered the word so quietly Sam couldn’t make it out.

“About what?”

“ _About sex, dammit!”_ Dean shouted. He caught himself, looked around to make sure he was still alone, and rubbed his eyes again. “Look, Sammy, when it comes to women, I got no problem, I mean I’m a champ! King of the bedroom! But with a guy…” Dean took a big gulp of coffee and used his sleeve to rub the sweat off his upper lip. If he didn’t trust his brother with his very soul, he would have died again --of embarrassment.

“I know all the parts, and I know where they can go, or _not_ go, and I sure as hell know how to use my hands. Hey, I figure that’s the same as on myself, only backwards, right?”

Sam willed himself not to laugh hysterically at his distraught brother. “Dean, look, I don’t want you to stress out over this. You and Cas, man, if you love each other… That’s all that matters. You’ll figure it out.”

“That’s it? We’ll figure it out? I mean, you have the experience, you can teach me a few things!“

“You don’t need me to do that. Just let nature take its course.” Sam knew from his own relationships that it was a clumsy first time for the uninitiated. Hell, there were plenty of instances where it was a clumsy first time with the opposite sex, too. If anyone could suss it out, it was Dean. “Any idea when he’ll get there?”

“I think I heard Jack say it’d be today. Aw, Sammy. I just want it to be good for him. You know what I mean? I don’t want to screw it up.” Dean once again bemoaned the lack of porn on the Celestial internet. It could have been very helpful.

“You won’t, Dean. No hurry, no worry. Just take your time. And remember, Castiel is a whole lot less experienced than you are.”

“Yeah… Yeah! Thanks, Sammy!” 

****** ****** ******

After Sam and Dean hung up, Dean wandered outside with Miracle and walked over to the pond. Once again the deer were there, but this time two spotted fawns were there as well. Miracle stopped to sniff some buttercups as Dean approached the fawns with hands outstretched. They slowly approached and he squatted down to pet them. They rubbed their cheeks against his, and gazed at him with such trust and innocence he thought he would cry. He swallowed hard, and was just reaching out to them again when he heard the rustle of meadow grass and felt a wave of comfort and understanding. He stood, turned, and for a moment he couldn’t breathe.

A few feet away stood Castiel. He was beautiful. He looked ten years younger, a few pounds leaner, and he was dressed in snug chinos and a boat necked tee, all in white. His hair was a bit longer than Dean remembered, and his brilliant smile went straight to Dean’s heart.

“You remind me of our sainted Francis! The fawns were always his favorite.” Cas looked down and gestured to himself. “I hope you don’t mind, Dean. As long as I was getting a custom crafted body I thought I’d tweak things a little.”

Dean approached slowly. “I wouldn’t care if you looked a hundred and ten. You know that don’t you?” He reached out a hand and cupped Castiel’s cheek. “I would love you in any way, shape or form.” He leaned in and kissed Cas on the forehead. He smelled of Frankincense.

“Welcome home, Cas,” Dean murmured. “Welcome home.”

He took the angel’s hand and they walked through the meadow. It seemed to Dean that the grasses were taller, the flowers more colorful, and the birdsong more plentiful. Miracle came running up, and stopped short in front of Cas. He bowed his head and then sat, looking up into Castiel’s eyes. Cas cocked his head as if listening and then placed his hands on either side of the dog’s head and spoke in a language Dean could not understand. With a happy yelp Miracle ran off again.

“What was that all about?”

Cas chuckled softly. “He wanted you to know his given name is Bruno. He likes Miracle much better, though. It makes him feel more distinguished.” He turned to Dean and smirked. “He also wanted me to tell you that he loves you very much. I told him it was unlikely he loved you as much as I do. He found that humorous.” Dean laughed with delight. He sometimes forgot the extent of Cas’ powers as a Seraph. 

The two walked farther into the meadow until they reached a clearing. They followed a well-worn path downhill and found themselves on the sandy beach of a familiar looking lake. Dean looked up and recognized the bluff he and Sam had visited. “Did you do this? Put this here?” Dean asked.

Castiel took a deep breath through his mouth, and smacked his lips a few times. “No. Your brother Sam put this here.” He smacked again, and held a finger up to the breeze. “This morning at ten twenty-four ante meridium. That was very nice of him!”

 _Yeah, peachy!_ Dean thought. “I think Sammy was trying to create a little ambience for us. A little romantic scene, like in the movies. The crashing waves, the whole thing!” Dean snorted. “He’s like my own personal party planner!”

“I see.” Cas moved closer and Dean could feel the heat radiating off of him. “In that case, let’s make his efforts worthwhile. May I kiss you, Dean?”

Dean could do no more than nod. Cas moved in closer, took both of Dean’s hands in his, and tenderly kissed each eyelid, then one cheek, then the other. Cas heard Dean sigh and opened his eyes just as Dean opened his and they gazed at each other for a long moment. Cas pulled Dean close and lightly kissed him on the mouth before shifting and kissing him more deeply. Their bodies met, their arms surrounded each other as their tongues danced, and tasted, and explored.

“Where did you learn to kiss like that?” Dean murmured as Cas nibbled on his neck.

“I watched a lot of movies in the Bunker, while you were all sleeping!” the angel whispered before turning his attention to Dean’s left ear.

When they finally separated, they walked along the sand until they came to a long, bleached tree trunk. They sat for a while talking. Castiel listened as Dean related the argument with his father, their reconciliation, his visit to Sam’s, his namesake nephew and his efforts to make the house homey and welcoming. Cas hadn’t been able to perceive the details, but he had picked up the changes in wavelength caused by Dean’s despair, or conversely, his elation. He explained to Dean that the rainbows he’d seen in the sky were simply reflections of Castiel’s own happiness when he knew Dean felt joy.

Cas bubbled with excitement as he described Jack’s progress with repairing and repopulating the alternate Universes and the plans to restructure the angelic forms. “Jack has put me in charge of all of the preliminary data collection. There are more than a few who will resist a reduction in relative supra-Celestial volume to something more manageable. But it’s all a matter of educating the masses, really, I mean if they expect to have the privilege of visiting the human realms, they’ll need to— What?”

Dean had been staring at Castiel with renewed respect. He blushed at being caught out. “Nothin’ man, I just… I’m in awe of you.”

“Thank you, Dean. I also find _you_ awesome. Oh, and technically I am not a man! As I explained in my previous visit, my current form is very similar to yours. It is a construct of micro matter, not a human ‘meat suit’ as you call it. ” He patted his ribs and grinned. “We’re using it as a prototype for the reconfiguration of the Angel Brigades!”

Dean threw his head back and laughed. “Never change, Cas. Never change!”

****** ****** ******

They talked some more and then walked along the path back to the meadow. The sun was low in the sky and Dean’s stomach was rumbling. “You hungry, Cas?” he said as they approached the house. “Can you eat food in that body? Or would it just taste like molecules again?”

“Actually I’m very hungry. This body will mimic a human body in every way when I’m here in Heaven. I will eat, drink, urinate, defecate, ejaculate—“

“ _Okay, okay, I get it”_ Dean held up his hands, surrendering the moment. “PB and J?”

“PB and J!”

After feeding Miracle the two sat at the kitchen table. A plate with sliced white bread, a Jar of Peter Pan and a jar of grape jelly sat on a Lazy Susan between them. Dean should have known that Cas would dissect the origin of the revolving tray’s name.

“Why not Eleanor? Or Joyce? Or for that matter why not a male name? Seems like a case of exclusion to me! Why are they all named Susan?”

“They just _are_ , Cas!” Dean said around half a mouthful of sandwich. He took a drink of milk as he watched Cas carefully lick some stray jelly off his finger, and tried to ignore the heat pooling in his belly. As Cas looked up Dean quickly looked away, but not before Castiel had seen him lick his lips, and heard the quietest whisper of a moan.

They finished their dinners in silence. Each stole furtive glances at the other, and each felt their desire building until they ached with it. Castiel sat with his hands folded, not quite sure what to do next. Dean cleared the table and put the dishes in the sink before taking two raspberry freeze pops out of the freezer. He handed one to Cas and sat back down at the table.

“This’ll clean your palate!” Dean exclaimed. _And cool us off a little while we figure this out._ “Just don’t eat it too fast, you’ll get brain freeze.”

“Actually, it’s unlikely that our brains could freeze, since our bodies are –“

“ _Constructs_ , yeah, I got it.” Dean slowly licked the drip on his wrist, watching Cas as he did so. The angels pupils dilated and he squirmed in his chair. “So are you actually able to live here now? Or just visit? How’s this gonna work?”

“I will live here, just as you do, in this form. When I need to I will go to the supra-Celestial plane to perform my duties there. In fact, most of my time will be spent there.” He popped the last bit of the frozen treat into his mouth and savored it. “That was very good!”

Dean did the same, but chewed it. “So you’ll be gone most of the time, and I’ll be alone most of the time.” He looked dejected and Castiel was quick to correct any misconceptions.

“No! Time works differently here. Sam lived a whole life, but when he joined you here it seemed like only minutes had passed. When I go to --well, for want of a better word, _work_ \-- I will spend millennia at my duties. For you it will seem like a few hours.”

Dean cleared his throat, and drew meaningless shapes on the table with his finger. “Does that mean you’ll be sleeping here?” _Damn, there was that sweat on his upper lip again_.

“Yes. I’ll be going to bed here, awakening here, eating here. Whipping your ass at foosball here…” Cas smiled fondly at Dean and the smile he received in return made the micro matter construct of his human **-** appearing heart swell until he thought it would burst.

“Well, let’s see… We just ate. And it’s too late for _me_ to whup _your_ sweet ass at foosball.“ Dean stood and held out his hand. “So I guess that leaves going to bed.”

****** ****** ******

Dean turned on the bedside light as Cas said something unintelligible to Miracle. A plush cushion appeared at the foot of the bed and the dog settled down on it immediately. Dean grabbed a corner of the duvet and pulled it down to the foot board. He felt out of his element. He loved Castiel. He craved the feel of the angel’s body moving against his own, and the sweet taste of his lips. He craved the ecstasy of his hot breath low on his belly. When Cas came over and stood before him, his mouth went dry.

“Cas… I got no idea what to do here. I mean, I _know_ but I haven’t… I’m not—“

Castiel put his finger across Dean’s lips.“Shhh.” He came closer and leaned in for a deep kiss. Dean felt that beautiful ache again and his cock began to twitch. Cas nibbled on his neck while unbuttoning Dean’s shirt, and when the angel slipped the buckle on his jeans, slid the zipper down, and reached in to squeeze his balls he thought he would scream.

“Cas… What the fuck, man?” Dean moaned as Cas sucked on his left nipple and then nipped it, just a little.

Cas pulled away and began shedding his own clothes, “I told you Dean – I watched a lot of movies while you were all asleep in the Bunker.”

Dean dropped his shirt on the chair by the bed, and then shed his jeans and shorts. “What movies?”

Cas knelt on the bed and reached out his hand to beckon Dean. “The ones in the old steamer trunk behind the red sports car in the lower garage. They provided an excellent tutorial of the skills I was hoping to need if you ever reciprocated my feelings.”

“My extra explicit European porn collection? Well that explains a hell of a lot.” Dean hopped on the bed and knelt before Cas. The angel was beautiful. He was muscled and lean, with a firm flat belly. Dean’s cock was already swollen and his breath came in heavy gasps. He leaned back on the bed and within seconds Castiel was on top of him.

They kissed and licked and nibbled the expanse of each other’s bodies. Hands stroked, tongues encircled, mouths engulfed hot flesh until first one, then the other, cried out and came in great shuddering waves of pleasure.

They found their way, guided by love and trust—and finally, blissfully, they slept.

****** ****** ******

Time passed and they settled into a comfortable routine. They studied cookbooks and whipped up gourmet dinners every fourth evening. Dean taught Cas how to play the guitar, and Cas persistently but unsuccessfully tried to teach Dean how to play the harp. The Winchesters happily accepted Castiel as one of the family, and Sam’s son took to calling him Uncle Cas.

Gradually Dean’s little corner of Heaven grew. Jody Mills, Donna Hanscum, and Missouri Moseley all found their way to the neighborhood, and when Charlie Bradbury came to visit – the parents she had missed so desperately had settled in their own Heaven -- Dean introduced her to everyone as his sister. It took a while, but Dean and Sam finally tracked down Adam, and let him know, if he had any doubts, that he was loved. He made himself a beach house down a ways from the bluff, and met a nice girl named Sarah who’d died saving three children from a house fire.

Time passed differently in the land of the living of course, and every so often a newcomer who was Bobby’s nephew’s brother-in-law’s great, great grandson or some such would tell stories of another pandemic, or another war, or another colony on Titan. Dean was grateful that those he had loved in life were safe in the hereafter. Gradually word came that the Earth had been destroyed by a comet the size of Australia. Some who still remembered mourned, but most, after a pause and words of sympathy for those who had died, went about their business as usual.

After eons of hard work and a concerted effort by the Consolidated Garrisons of Angels, the new Hell was finally complete. Dean hosted one of his now-famous barbecues to celebrate the grand opening and to honor Castiel for his new role as Director of Demon Rehabilitation. Dean walked around, greeting the many guests, throwing a few Bocce balls, and eating two red hots and some of his Mom’s peach pie. He barely remembered his death, or what sadness or worry was like.

At this point in his re-evolution he knew only the love he received and the love he gave. He knew the touch of the angel he loved, and the smiles of his family, and the trust of a beloved dog. He knew utter and complete happiness, and every once in a while, he knew the voice of his God when he gave his thanks. _You’re welcome, Dean_. _It’s nothing more than you deserve._

****** ****** ******

Cas and Dean lay in bed talking after the celebratory barbecue had ended. Dean’s head was resting on Cas’ chest as Castiel carded his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Are you sure, Cas? I think it’s a great idea!” Dean rolled onto his back, and the angel shifted to lie on his side, his head resting on his hand.

“I’ve told you, Dean, we aren’t going to _need_ a ‘Smite Squad’ in the new Hell. Jack wants us to rehabilitate the demons so that one day they, too, can enter Heaven!”

“Yeah, well, not in my neighborhood!” Dean sighed. “It’s just that I get antsy once in a while, kinda bored. Not that I’m complaining, I mean it’s great here! Fantastic! I’m just not the kind of guy to sit around contemplating my navel!”

The Angel Castiel, Seraph and Director of Demon Rehabilitation, gazed down at the human who had taught him how to love. He cocked an eyebrow and smiled. “Well, in that case,” he said, as he nestled himself between Dean’s legs and began trailing kisses down Dean’s chest and belly, “I’ll have to do it for you!” When he reached Dean’s navel Cas did something with his tongue that made him gasp, and then disappeared beneath the covers.

Dean began to moan and he arched his back as a wave of ecstasy coursed through him. On his cushion, Miracle twitched his paws as he chased butterflies in his dreams, and a short way up the road Sam and Eileen played Monopoly with their son.

The God that used to be a boy-Nephilim named Jack absorbed the love emanating from the souls near and far. He was pleased with the Karmic result of the lives that they had led. Dean was in his rightful Heaven, and all was right with the Multiverse.

-end


End file.
